In the beginning there was the computer. And God said

c:\>Let there be light!

Enter user id.

c:\>God

Enter password.

c:\>Omniscient

Password incorrect. Try again.

c:\>Omnipotent

Password incorrect. Try again.

c:\>Technocrat

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

c:\>Let there be light!

Unrecognizable command. Try again.

c:\>Create light

Done

c:\>Run heaven and earth

And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

Unrecognizable command. Try again.

c:\>Create firmament

Done.

c:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place
and let the dry land appear and

Too many characters in specification string. Try again.

c:\>Create dry_land

Done.

c:\>Run firmament

And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

Unspecified type. Try again.

c:\>Create sun_moon_stars

Done

c:\>Run sun_moon_stars

And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over
the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night. And God saw
there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

c:\>Create fish

Done

c:\>Create fowl

Done

c:\>Run fish, fowl

And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.

And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

c:\>Create cattle

Done

c:\>Create creepy_things

Done

c:\>Now let us make man in our image

Unspecified type. Try again.

c:\>Create man

Done

c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it
and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of
the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth

Too many command operands. Try again.

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 6 errors..

c:\>Insert breath

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 5 errors.

c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden

File Garden of Eden does not exist.

c:\>Create Garden.edn

Done

c:\>Move man to Garden.edn

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 4 errors.

c:\>Copy woman from man

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

Execution terminated. 2 errors.

c:\>Create desire

Done

c:\>Run multiplication

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

c:\>Create freewill

Done

c:\>Run freewill

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

c:\>Undo desire

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

c:\>Destroy freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

c:\>Help

Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge

And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn

Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

c:\>Create good, evil

Done

c:\>Activate evil

And God saw he had created shame.

Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in
Garden.edn.
1 errors.

c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman

Search failed.

c:\>Delete shame

Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

c:\>Destroy freewill

Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.

Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

c:\>Stop

Unrecognizable command. Try again

c:\>Break

c:\>Break

c:\>Break
>
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN
FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG
OFF.

c:\>Create new world

You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old
files before new ones can be created.

c:\>Destroy earth

Destroy earth: Please confirm.

c:\>Destroy earth confirmed

COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY,
MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6

TOP 10 reasons computers are male:

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on the but nobody home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.

TOP 10 reasons compilers are female:

10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what’s wrong, they say “nothing”.
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Small talk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it’s wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period and they go wild.

Happy Damn Thursday to all you American people.

There’s something very … not me … with the fact that I’m listening to Meteora on repeat. And that I’m scarily seriously considering joining LPU because all the LPU people I met are actually so unfairly cool and hate minimoshers just as much as everyone else on the planet does.

Once I got to Cardiff, Jo met me at the bus station and then we went and had coffee and then wandered over to the CIA (that’s the Cardiff International Arena, not the US government organisation ;)). Once I got there I met Claire and 2348972390487 other people who were really cool and friendly. (Where have I recently got the random confidence to go talk to random people?)

Then we all kinda froze for about 3 hours until the LPU’ers who’d got into the Meet & Greet thing went and met and gret. About half an hour after that everyone else went in. I think I was like third in or something silly like that. Then we all scrambled to get the green wristbands to get into the mosh pit. (They had the best, most sensible attitude to moshing I’ve ever come across: first 500 people to claim wristbands get into a specially fenced off mosh pit right at the front). So yeah, once I’d got a wristband thing (come on, you KNOW I’d go get one!) we went in and waited for Kinesis who were really really cooooool, despite being incoherent apart from “THANK YOU!!!!!!”. And They Obey was really good live. Then Lostprophets did their thing. I wasn’t excessively interested in Lostprophets for anything other than Shinobi Vs Dragon Ninja (which I have to say was fucking AMAZING live).

Uhm I think that’s it…

Oh yeah, then LP came on. Nearly forgot.

Actually they were a bajillion times better live than on album. I was so impressed. Like I said in my recent LJ post, it came second only to Vex Red. I thought they’d be good but nothing special, if that makes sense? But I was pretty blown away by how good they were.

And during Faint they pulled some random audience member on to the stage to play the main guitar riff for them, and the kid they pulled up played it note perfect. Brad was like “yeah, play it like this, this and this”, and the kid just had this look of “yeah, whatever, I probably know this song better than you do”. Heh. He was really good though.

“This Friday sees the launch of the ‘new look’ Top Of The Pops. To celebrate, there will be an hour long special tomorrow night from 19:30. During the show five videos including ‘Hysteria’ will be put up for video vote with one being played in full at the end of the show. So, if you want to see the excellent ‘Hysteria’ video, watch Top Of The Pops and make sure you get voting!!”

Wow.

Yesterday was so damn cool. I met a whole bunch of new people (mostly from LPU) and they were all really cool, and yeah, I want to go back.

Never thought I’d say this about Linkin Park, but that’s definitely one of the best gigs I’ve ever been to. Only Vex Red last December beat it.

(LP and Vex Red will probably get knocked back a spot after Muse on Saturday though).

I’m so sore now though.

Fun with Google!

Go to http://www.google.com

Type in “Repent, The End Is Extremely Fucking Nigh”

Click “I’m Feeling Lucky”.

Recognise where it takes you?

Bookmark to:

Destroy the spineless, show me it’s real, wasting our last chance, to come away. Destroy the spinless, cos I’m drifting away, away from you.

Heh, that was mean. Oh well.

Spoke to last night. It’s been like two years since I talked to her. I missed talking to her.

Yay for music making me so happy at the moment. Last night it was Muse’s Newborn that started making me all happy and today it’s the Chemical Brothers’ Star Guitar.

YAY for bouncy happy music!

I got 122 junk emails in the past 24 hours. Yay for Spam. NOT. I’m with on this one. You should die, along with the rest of your families.