Fox News: Bringing You Terrorism. In Your Living Room.

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http://www.minilog.com/~arussell/moblog/2003-10-08/2003-10-08.html

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Not heard this song in ages…

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Phone answering machine message
“…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…”
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
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I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf.
And he said, “No, the steaks are too high.”
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My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
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A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.

He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied, “I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off”.
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I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a muscle.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.

They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that

you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with
hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.
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Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says, “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”
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“Doc, I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.”
“That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ”
“Is it common? ”
“It’s not unusual.”
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
“My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? ”
“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him”
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What? Because he’s cross-eyed? ”
“No, because he’s really heavy”
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Two elephants walk off a cliff…boom, boom!
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me “Can you give me
a lift?” I said “Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.’
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Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, “Your round.”
The other one says, “So are you, you fat bast**d!”
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Two prostitutes standing on a street corner.
One says to the other, “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
The other replies, “No, but I’ve been swung around by the boobs!”
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“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, ‘Parking Fine.’
So that was nice.”
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A man walked into the doctors, he said, “I’ve hurt my arm in several places”
The doctor said, “Well don’t go there any more”

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Today’s moblog. Only 3 photos today because I’ve had a boring day.

http://www.minilog.com/~arussell/moblog/2003-10-07/2003-10-07.html

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“They say that if you play a Windows Install CD backwords, you hear satanic messages. That’s nothing; play it forward and it installs Windows.”

Heh. I would write something long and meaningful about…. something important… but I don’t really have a great deal to say right now. Other than I need an opportunity to get very drunk. I feel VERY alcohol-deprived recently.

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Today’s photos:
http://www.minilog.com/~arussell/moblog/2003-10-06/2003-10-06.html

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Primarily for the benefit of Cat, I’m making a moblog (a mobile-blog: where you take lots of photos with a picture phone and make a journal from the photos).

Whenever I make a new post in my moblog, I’ll post a link to it here. The first entry in my moblog is mainly between when I got my camera phone (a Sony Ericsson T610), and yesterday.

Here’s the link:
http://www.minilog.com/~arussell/moblog/2003-10-04/2003-10-04.html

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