(Stolen from )

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour!

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

“I can’t confront you, I never could do…”

I’m updating my journal. Great.

Now I’m going to get back to working again.

Im on jons phone. Woot

Names are one kind of reference that you’re already familiar with. Think of the President: a messy, inconvenient bag of blood and bones. But to talk about him, or to represent him in a computer program, all you need is the easy, convenient scalar string “Bill Clinton”.

Heh. From PerlDoc.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Fish.

I should’ve been going to Seattle today. :(

I just stole this icon.

I just cleaned my friends list again. Sorry if you feel insulted at being removed. Nothing personal, it was just becoming too much to scroll through every day. The journals on my list now are the ones that I really read. I removed the ones that I normally end up skim-reading. So… yeah.

Other stuff:

• It’s hot enough to melt a panda
• Dave shook a ketchup bottle that didn’t have the lid on properly
• I like the Offspring
• I drunk nearly a litre of red bull in 20 minutes or so - yay hyperness
• Cat has a problem with me licking her elbows
• Cat just elbowed me in the tongue
• Cat doesn’t think she should write my journal for me
• I got thrown out again
• I NEED a job
• I wantNEED money
• I want to be able to drive
• I want to be able to afford a car
• Cat wants a kitty
• Wetherspoons in Bromley is really nice
• As is the Hogshead in Beckenham
• Cat got ID’d for buying Coca-Cola in the Goose
• I like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• I like Regeneration
• I want to do something silly and mindless right now… oh yeah. LiveJournal. :P
• I’ve not posted in my journal for way too long
• The Pickhurst has the scary chef who has no teeth but was apologising nicely about overheating microwaves
• I like these bullet points
• Final episode of 24 today! Yay! But I’ll miss it :(
• Hell Is For Heroes were really good live. I wanted to see them again dammit.
• Cat has horrible burn :( Poor Cat
• Cat says “Stop talking about Cat!”
• Cat will stop talking about herself in the third person now
• This time a month ago I was on holiday with Cat. I miss that.
• Tom’s GTA3 cd is highly tempting
• Yay for Hell Is For Heroes
• Cat wants to go read Discworld
• I’m a pest
• I want some Coke. (of the Cola kind).
• GIRL! I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR
• Lets start a war. Start a nuclear war.
• At the gay bar. WAAAAOOW!

*** end randomness here ***

It’s hot. Not nice hot. That horrible humid hot. Grr.

And I feel sick. Like something’s just gone and carved a huge hole in my stomach.

And 6 auctions I made on eBay failed to sell. Fuck.